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wilf
16-08-02, 02:59 PM
I thought the following might help some of you guys understand what on earth your woman is on about:Girlies have a chuckle, Men take heed


FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when
they feel they are right and you need to shut up.
Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this
will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last
before you take out the bins, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something", and you should be on your
toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the
feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out,
upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes"
and end with 'Fine'

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the
word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I
don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead"
in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and
"Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five
Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal
statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh"
means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft
Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to
not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she
wants to think long and hard before paying you back
for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay"
is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction
with a "Raised Eyebrow.

GO AHEAD.
At some point in the near future, you are going to be
in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is
giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse
or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you
have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so
be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're
welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will
say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at
you. It signifies that you have offended her in some
callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh."
Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud
Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

Send this to the men you know to warn them about
future arguments they can avoid if they remember the
terminology.


:D :D :D

Wilf

maxGD059
16-08-02, 03:22 PM
Looks like you've given up on work now aswell!!

Richard
(It'll only be a 5 minute job)

breskit
16-08-02, 04:19 PM
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes = No.

No = Yes.

Maybe = No.

We need = I want.

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

You're so ....manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like.


MEN'S ENGLISH:

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

I'm tired = I'm tired.

Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

I love you = Let's have sex now.

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question.

May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next ten minutes.

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

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http://homepage.ntlworld.com/tony.breski