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BILKO
16-11-05, 11:48 AM
Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

You're not really drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on.

"Do you know the Watford turn-off?"
"Yes, I married her".

The Japanese government has sent 500 tons of Viagra to the US after hearing they were having trouble with their elections.

If swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales?

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

I still miss my ex-wife - but my aim is improving.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils - people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing.

Sign in a petshop - "Buy one dog and get one flea".

24 hours in a day - 24 beers in a case. Now there's a coincidence.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If at first you don't succeed, then sky-diving definitely is not for you.

Only borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect to get it back.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?