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Rob Kyle
20-02-10, 03:23 PM
SCOTTISH MODERN MATHEMATICS PAPER 2010 *HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL*

*PLEASE ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS ACCORDING TO YOUR REGION*

GLASGOW REGION
Name............................................
Nickname......................................
Gang name..............................

1. Shuggie has bought half a kilo of cocaine to sell. He wants to make 300% on the deal and still pay Mad Malky his 10% protection money. How much must he charge for a gram?
2. Wee Davie reckons he'll get 42.50 extra Marriage Allowance a week if he ties the knot with Fat Alice. Even if he steals the ring, the wedding will cost him 587. And he'll have to start buying two fish suppers at 3.95 each every night instead of one. How long will it be before Davie wishes he'd stayed single?
3. When Rangers play Celtic, their fans sing The Sash every 10 minutes when they're winning and every 15 minutes when they're losing.
How many times did they sing it at last season's Cup Final?
4. Joey and Davie stole a 1999 green Toyota 1600GL with 35,000 on the clock - and got a grand for it. How much more would they have got if it had been metallic silver, done 29,000 miles and had low profile tyres?
5. Jake the Flake and Fingers got grassed up for dealing speed. The Flake got 18 months but Fingers got 3 years. How many more previous convictions did Fingers have?
EXTRA CREDIT: Who was Fingers' Brief?


* EDINBURGH / BORDERS REGION*
Name...........................................
Rugby Club...........................................
Daddy's Company........................................... ......

1. Gavin has a spare ticket for Julian Clary at The Festival Fringe. But Benji and Adrian BOTH want to go with him. How long does he cry before giving them the tickets?
2. Half of Peter's friends say that they went to school with Ewan McGregor. Another third say they were Gordon Brown 's flat mate at University. A sixth say that their dad played rugby with Tony Blair's dad and the rest say Sean Connery was their milkman. Only one is telling the truth, so how many friends does Peter have?
3. Todd wants to be a lawyer, but is as thick as Edinburgh Castle . His daddy is a Freemason and a QC. How long before Todd becomes the Lord Advocate?
4. Tamsin's Personal Trainer charges 250 a week, but has sex with her whenever she wants it. Jasmin's Life Coach charges 50 a week but has refused all sexual advances. Which one of the women is overweight?
5. Princes Street is 2467 yards long. On average, there is someone begging for money every 195 yards. You walk at 3.1 miles an hour - how long will it take if you tell them all to sod off and work for a living?