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wilf
06-07-01, 11:38 PM
OK guys n girls - I'm posting this in the great British expectation that you will all 'fess up like me. Lets see if you do!!

The most stupid thing I've done was tonight - here's the scene:

It's Friday night, it's been a long and hard week at work. By tradition, Wife and I get outside of a couple of bottles of wine of a Friday night to help us relax into the weekend. We do so. At a late hour, Wife goes to bed, I wander into the garage and think "shouldn't I tidy up that bit of wiring?"

(Note here - couple of weeks ago I fitted an accusump to the car, spent all my time eliminating oil leaks from the many couplings, left the wiring to the solenoid a tad rough.)

And so I started - no problems, soldering iron and sleeving and cable ties all at hand. Whilst halfway through, my eye fell on the overpressure relief valve fitted to the accusump. Has a little ring on it, like a key ring. Looked at the pressure gauge - it says 75psi. Hmmmmmmm. Thought I'd give the pressure relief valve a little tug to see if it works.
BINGO - solid jet of oil all over me, n/s wing, engine bay, floor! Some of it went straight into my stupid mouth and eyes. Staggered into the house, to wash out the taste of valvoline racing oil (not pleasant compared to wine).
Looked in the mirror - horror! oil all over my T and shorts!

Here's the scene the next day:

1/ Wife says "how come there's oil all over your favourite "T" shirt and shorts??? Why do you always wear decent clothes when you work on that car?"
2/ Wife says "have you been polishing the gelcoat on that wing??"
3/ Wife says " why is there oil all over the kitchen floor?" (yes I had stood in a puddle of it and walked it into the house)
4/ Wife says " I thought you told me you had cured all those oil leaks - why's there oil all over the floor under the car?"

Boy - this has to be the most stupid thing I did so far, and let me tell you, I am no stranger to being stupid whilst building this car!!

Go'on then - beat that.

Wilf

he who never learns

robert
07-07-01, 11:43 AM
Wilf

Welcome to the stupid club. As the founder member who ran out of petrol at the GD open day, I thought I would take this opportunity to welcome you to our select club.

Robert

The Whistler!

imported_admin
07-07-01, 04:00 PM
Does putting diesel in the fuel tank count?

As with most car builders my first trip was down to the MOT station (pre SVA), but being booked for 4:00pm on Saturday I was in such a rush to get there that I didn't have time to get to the filling station. I dropped the car down off the ramps and drove straight there with just a sniff of juice in the tank.

The car passed OK but ran out of petrol as it was driven out of the testing station. The mechanic said, "We've got some fuel in a big container, I'll fetch you some to get you to the garage!". When he returned we just pored the fuel in, I thought it smelt a bit odd, and then I tried to start it.

What a racket! believe it or not, it did start (Chevy 350 with 10.5/1 CR), but with massive clouds of white smoke billowing from the side pipes, you can probably imagine how embarrassed I was, but you should have seen the mechanic, his face was a picture!

Anyway, after a bit of cursing we drained the tank and I bought some petrol to get home. Boy did I feel stupid! I never went back to that MOT station again.

I've never trusted a mechanical engineer since, it seems they have their heads full of cr*p like Jeeps and things!

Paul

imported_admin
07-07-01, 07:51 PM
Most days I have to deal with many of what are today called 'challenges' (in my book, challenges are things you choose to do, the word is problems) anyway .. most of my days are filled with them. All who know me quickly knew that if I didn't have bad luck I'd have no luck at all. The Victor Meldrew of Caterham. Just two for now - amongst thousands ..

Some years ago - Rushing to get the racer ready and working two days and all night on her for Brands, 30 mins away, loaded car on trailer, loaded spares etc etc (usual many problems = usual many spares), - late - shower, bye bye, off down Caterham Hill (steep) braked hard at foot of hill as Caterham Seven pr*ck emerged from side road without looking, trailer not connected properly, demounted, shot forward, took out the complete electrics and rear panel of camper, halt, jump out - see damage - see queue forming from the road I'm on and two busy side roads - immediate serious, very serious, call of nature, supress - oh God, please God, supress, summoning all strength to concentrate on barely constricted sphincter bend over to pull on trailer brake to wind up jockey wheel, split trousers - but then at that very moment .. Aaagh! .. constriction fails and involentarily squeeze off a large calibre of the aforementioned nature call - artilliary stuff - panic, windmill frantically into camper in front of gathering crowd, dive for loo, clean up, wot, no change of clothes??, Police arrive, explain situation through window of very smelly camper, pull forward, reconnect trailer, pull around corner, produce documents, big sweat, big smell, spend half hour fixing electrics, tear off onto M25, pull into services, fill up with diesel which splashes back all over shirt and right trouser leg, - wot ? how much ?? £8 ??? - find have topped-up adjacent fresh water system filler with said diesel = no shower, loo, washing etc water (and just how long and how much did it take to fix that problem?) - explain to cashier why have to fill again, do so, use their facilities to clean up again, hare off, M25/M/A20 roundabout - artic moves from across so forcing me onto the roundabout infield - crushes awning, 35 mins and yet another Police presence, explain why sweaty, smelly, trousers which cover legs and little else - one leg seeping diesel into pretty rainbow droplets in the now wet road - oh rain - lovely, produce documents etc etc, jump into cab, slip on step due to diesel filled shoe, crack shin, blood, plaster no good as won't stick to diesel, hanky in use, find fridge door opened probably in impact - milk all over carpet (er this stuff hangs around for months) off again now (this is by now a mission of biblical proportion), down long hill, brake for roundabout before Death Hill and get overtaken by what I recognise some moments later as two of my own chrome wheel embellishers - just as I run over one of them. Aaaaagh! I'm late for scrutineering, practice about to start, visions of tearing about to be scruted and practising out of session = 10 second penalty at back of the grid (last time this happened I was overtaken by the course ambulance - never live down again) .... arrive Brands Hatch - no one there ... er ... tomorrow chum.

Yesterday - clipping toenails and both daughters (3 and 1) burst into bedroom - snip off tip of little toe on left foot - much blood and hopping about. Later fixing various toys in garage, very hot, manage to superglue my lips together by wiping mouth with back of hand failing to see that glue had spurted when opening - in my general displeasure and exhasperation flailed around in abstract anger and manage to dislodge 4lb club hammer from bench which I see drop in slow motion onto left foot - pain would have been much worse if little toe had been complete - stagger backward and step on hitherto unseen small pool of oil, do splits - splitting trousers asunder and pulling a variety of long unworked sinews and muscles whilst taking skin off knuckles in pathetic attampt to arrest swift downward motion which crushes right knee and bang head on bench. Drag myself into study - everything hurts except my head - amazing, no, here comes the headache. Oh joy. Three hours later manage to worm a hole into side of mouth (after discounting a therum of drinking through my nose on the hottest day of the year) and search house for straws of which we had boxes only days before (what do we need all these for?), find they have been proudly assembled into a rather attractive model, of God knows what, by No 1 daughter; remove one straw which causes whole structure to fail, gulp water and look for anything pureed - nothing except marmite bl**dy hell. Seven hours later able to unglue myself and phone back with aplogies to all those to whom I sounded incapable - that it really wasn't the demon drink at all. Wife returns very late with offspring and Mother from outing to Hampton Court Flower Show - left early and found entry was only for RHS Members with prepaid tickets - she didn't read the last bit and spent all day bar two hours in traffic. Proceeds to tell me what a rotten day she's had (sitting down in an air-conditioned car). Today - I'm walking about as if auditioning for Planet Of The Apes. Ho Hum.
(c) Usher-Sparks (book compilation)

paul
07-07-01, 10:13 PM
Hi there
Question do you drive a Cobra ? if so please post dates when you are on the road so that I can be far away
cheers
Paul

wilf
09-07-01, 06:15 PM
Guzinter - you are real Accident prone! You have my sympathy.
Rob - loved your petrol story, but as usual you get no sympathy outta me!

Bringing this back to the top so all you other "stupids" out there can add your bit!

Wilf

robert
09-07-01, 06:22 PM
Wilf

You're soo harsh
:-(
Robert

The Whistler!

wilf
09-07-01, 06:49 PM
Oh all right rob - you can have just a little teensy bit of sympathy

Wilf

robert
09-07-01, 06:52 PM
You're too kind, Oh gracious one.

Robert

The Whistler!

imported_admin
10-07-01, 07:45 PM
Hey guys, it's not that I'm accident prone - it's just that I've done a hell of a lot over a lot of years and this kind of thing happens in direct proportion. For a good read try 'Touch Wood' by Duncan Hamilton - just re-published ISBN 0-9516945-0-2.

mal
11-07-01, 12:12 AM
STILL CAN`T SEE WHY YOU NEED PETROL IN A RUBBER BAND POWERED CAR,AND THIS COMES UNDER THE HEADING HUMOUR ! AS I DONT OWN A JEEP !

RigMan
11-07-01, 05:26 PM
In the persuit of all things male, and seeing the glint in the corner of the wife's eye at all the horse power on tap, I studiously dialed in some male only features into the car. McCleod heavy duty clutch, wide fitting front tires to make steering heavy, forward travel on the seat restricted.......you get the idea. What do I then go and do you ask which is so stupid? I bought her club membership to to the local gym! With the aid of a pillow she will be able to drive it!

RigMan

x( x( x(

robert
12-07-01, 12:46 PM
My wife is blonde, which is not a very good start, but she is also pregnant.

I cannot think of a worse combination than Blonde and Pregnant for lack of common sense. }>

Best Regards

Robert

The Whistler!
:7

imported_admin
12-07-01, 11:36 PM
You want to know about chassis twist? At the age of 14 with parents home to UK on leave, before I was really as stupid as I am now, I obtained a Standard 8 in near working order (my fifth car) and having cut new threads for head bolts in preference to the alraldite method preferred by the previous owner, it was complete and ran well - to the astonishment of my Father whom had the repeated displeasure of observing his son hoving into view pushing a series of wrecks with the assistance of press-ganged pals only to see them removed by scrapmen after yet another rollover or assortment of spectacular mechanical/driving failures in the long bridlepath behind the house. I had rashly convinced my folks that in the UK it was perfectly legal to run any vehicle regardless of condition, mot, tax, age or driving licence on a public bridleway.

But - having been infused by the then early beach buggy craze I decided this was a ripe candidate for conversion; never mind the body I'll make one, never mind the front engine, we'll get round that, never mind the height we'll get .. etc etc. Not having any power or air tools or even many tools at all I set about removing the body with a club hammer and chisel, then a bolster, then an axe, then a much bigger axe. You may imagine the noise and complaints drawn from our hitherto rather nice avenue of neighbours. It was at sill-level that I discovered the Standard 8 was one of the first - maybe even the first - production car which was a monocoque - no chassis. Ha! Small problem, carry on!

Some 6 weeks later, following the most incredible Fred Karno Circus glassfibre experiences best not dwelt upon but which caused my dear Mother to seek more inventive ways of removing glassfibre resin and matting from the bathroom and her son, the most beautiful creation rolled from the garage - body of artistic interpretence (yes I know there's no such word but I'm rolling), racy yet distinctive interior comprising four differing coloured discarded plastic office chairs with bird-sh*t welding the cut-down tubular legs to the floorpan, belching smoke with an ear-splitting roar (exhaust not fitted for added effect) and I might add heavily fancying my chances at getting my first lay with the effortless assistance of this incredible daring machine - but, the gorgeous object of my, by now painfully obvious, ardour and assembled friends completely fell about (I had invited these people whom were not slow in devouring my Mother's sandwiches and biscuits and bl**dy Fanta - I didn't even get bl**dy Fanta at home! - so I at least expected some nodding appreciation). I couldn't believe it! - No one wanted a ride - no one wanted to even sit in it (or rather on it). Stiffy now diminishing - Ha! you'll see what you're missing. Fired her up and shot off in a cloud of everything - off down the bridleway. Just a moment later I encountered a startled cat rooted to the spot in the centre of my path, Hah! a slight avoiding action engendered what can only be described as a highly disproportionate effect as my spectacular creation swerved violently left - wot?! -proceded to mount and simultaneously remove the rather stout 6' recently erected fence and concrete posts whilst rolling the car through 360 degrees, ejecting me to land in adjacent brambles, and landing on it's wheels. We all watched as the car (aka later as the flying t*rd) continued quite quickly, but was observed aghast almost in slow motion, just far enough for her to be apprehended by next-door-but-one's garage doors which were regretfully not substancial enough to arrest the motion of the occupying car which was pushed forward into a lawn mower, pushing it in turn through the rear wooden wall, crushing galvanised buckets, damaging front & rear bumpers, front & rear panels, front and rear wings, front and rear lights and lamps and puncturing his radiator. The bl**dy cat was still rooted to the spot - which could not be said for my 'pals' who legged it smartish, with the remaining buffet, whilst once again the emergency services were called. I cannot tell you how much painting, decorating, shoe polishing, grocery shopping by foot and gardening I did for this humourless neighbour to make up for these minor blemishes but it seemed like for ever.

As a result my Father bought me a bicycle the very next week which I rode just once - stationary waiting to turn right, hand out indicating right in the centre of the road correctly, a motorcyclist with passenger in enclosed sidecar overtook a car behind me (they were both approaching me from my rear), motorcyclist then saw me in the centre of the road with my hand out, and had no choice other than to go around my righthandside onto the oncoming traffic for which I was waiting. Motorcyclist and closed sidecar then swerved left just in front of me to avoid head-on collision with oncoming traffic, lost control and went through a wooden fence (not as well as I can I thought) coming to rest in a garden pond - the kerfuffle from the sidecar was incredible and we all watched mesmerised as the leather clad, helmeted and gauntleted Edwardian-style motorcyclist grappled, rather like Frankenstein I thought, to remove God knows what from the confines of the enclosed sidecar which turned out to be a beserk labrador and a very unpleasant female whom had suffered substancial injuries from the dog on her lap going nuts than from the impact or subsequent drenching in the pond. As I laughed loudest this guy went beserk himself and had to be physically restrained from strangling me. Me! What had I done? Chr*st I thought (at 14) for once I'm a bl**dy stationary observer! The Police again found occasion to tread the well-trodden path and knock upon my parent's trembling door but as witness statements dribbled in backing up my flambouyant rendition it now occurs to me that was the very moment at which my Father admitted defeat. And so it was the following day that I appeared with a sit-up-and-beg Ford Pop - now that had a chassis!

(c) Usher-Sparks

robert
13-07-01, 12:24 AM
Bob

We will be waiting for a long time to top that one.

All the best

Robert

The Whistler!

imported_admin
20-07-01, 11:02 PM
Mmmmm ... not sure if I'm wise to continue with this thread ... but this happened on one day last Summer .. things usually happen to me quickly in threes ..

This trip to the Channel Island office started by getting my head jammed between the front seat upright and B post of my MPV whilst waiting for the early ferry. It lolled into a seemingly impassable gap when I fell asleep across the front seats and come to rest in such a position that I couldn't move anything without extreme pain. No one could see because of the dark-glass windows and, with cramp in my left leg, was reduced to screaming for help but was gripped in such a vice that volume was impeded. With everyone else moving off all around to load and ferry staff asking where the driver was I managed to engage the passenger door electric window switch with my left foot and bellowed. Doors were opened releasing a very large sweaty red head complete with severe creasing marks from the door pillar and leather seat stitching. I then endured the embarassment of being assisted from the vehicle and proceded to flail and leap about (in the kind of frenzied maniacal foot-stamping associated with putting out a shoe fire) in a vain attempt to stop the cramp which by now had also affected my foot - to the hilarity of the assembled loading crew and puzzled passengers on deck. This heavy facial creasing subsided just before docking - following several hours of being stared and pointed at. Oh Goddddddd.

Having then unloaded half a ton of booklets in heavy boxes and deposited them in the Channel Island office stock room one at a time on the hottest day of the year left me wringing wet and knackered but moreover very late for keeping up with a busy schedule. In my urge to get 'going and doing' I quickly had a wash-down in the small washroom and changed clothes, just finishing, the office manageress called out that the Computer engineer had arrived as arranged to quote for re-cabling the computer network and she was off to lunch. I presented myself, explained what was necessary and indicated the proposed access areas (which were up high involving standing on chairs and down low crouching also laying under lengths of desking). Finishing and sitting on the edge of a facing desk whilst the engineer made very hurried scribbled notes, he blurted that he'd be in touch and departed so fast that he neglected to shake hands and fell over the waste basket, scrabbled up and fled. Strange I thought but got on with the myriad of tasks I'd rashly alotted. Office manager returned as I was changing a flourescent lighting tube whilst standing on a desk - and calmly enquired why I wasn't wearing any trousers. Oh Godddddd. No, we never did hear from the engineer again, nor could we get anyone else on the island to quote and I ended up re-cabling.

But, that same evening, having finished late and away from home and my increasing family, thoughts turned to spectacular dinners and I recalled the small French restaurant at which my business partner and I had enjoyed such splendid repast and hospitality that there could be no other choice. So, a quick shave and another change, but was interrupted by the constantly ringing telephone so I answered and found a customer who could not understand why she could not order at 8pm - took order, finished dressing, checked for fully clothed body, locked up saying goodnight with a few jokes with the guys whom were leaving the next-door office drove off. I then filled up with petrol (at 36p per litre - love the Channel Islands) bought some bottled water (rather than the £1 per litre hotel water) had a chat with the manager who was locking up, continued and parked as near as I was able to the town centre restaurant and slowly wandered through relatively crowded streets, nodding and smiling with the usual 'good-evenings' to other sauntering folks to arrive exactly at the time of my reservation. Rather than the usual Gallic welcome normally received the restaurant owner gripped my elbow firmly, propelled me purposefully to one side and asked if I would like to go to the toilet. Strewth! I thought - this is a bit strong - but was bundled inside - to see my facial reflection staring back - resplendant in shaving foam. Oh Godddddd.


(c) Usher-Sparks

Pictus
07-03-05, 11:06 PM
the most stupid thing ive done is to try press a pinion breing off with out putting anything ove the thread and doing so in a 20 ton press

salmon
08-03-05, 12:30 AM
Hi,

this kinda falls into this category, but involves me rather than is something I have done.

I was about 19 years old, I was on my lunchbreak from work (read: lunchtime nooky at the girlfriends house while her parents were at work) I was on my way back to work and was pulling to a stop behind a queue of traffic at the lights on a bridge. Convenient i thought as there was a couple of very nice girls walking by, time for a good blimp. Next think there was a look of horror on the girls faces and I felt this large thump on the back of my z1000 motorcycle, immediate thought is oh ****!. I looked behind (fortunately because it was bridge I had the front brake on) and saw to my amazement and relief a Honda C90 lying on it's side in road with some old geezer (I swear he was about 90) picking himself up of the floor. He said something to me but I couldn't hear because the throttle was wide open on the c90, anyway despite my shouts warning him he picks the c90 upright which immediately shoots of into the next lane of traffic, with him hanging onto the handlebars. Just as he is launched with the c90 a brand new ford escort (Mk2 did I mention I was an old git) is going past and receives a black rubber go faster stripe down the offside from the c90's front tyre. The women driving the escort is horrified and screams something about her husband and murder, whilst the old man apologises profusely, for some inexplicable reason the women (still muttering about her imminent demise) gets back in the escort and drives off with the old man running after her (surreal or what). Whilst he is making his way back to me I inspect my bike for damage, nothing, he must have bounced of the rear tyre.

Guess what the 90 year old duffer said to me...

quote "Sorry all my fault I was busy looking at the dolly birds on the pavement!!!"

Regards
Chris

David Large
08-03-05, 06:03 AM
Tame I know. but I am the bloke who set off a few years ago in the pouring rain to go to the CRC event at Duxford. My wife's parting, supportive words were that I was an idiot to be going out in such conditions.
I soldiered on down the A14 and my car started to misfire eventually stopping altogether in a lay by still in the pouring rain (this was my first lesson in Mallory condensors).
I called out the recovery service and sat there for 3 hours until I was picked up.
After being switched from one truck to another I eventually was delivered home.
When I had dried out I came on this website to relate some of the tale with the comment too that I was surprised that no Cobras had passed me while I was sitting in the lay by. It was disappointing that they had all wimped out because of the weather.
It took Robert nearly 5 minutes to post back pointing out that the Duxford event was the following week!
Ah well it must be an age thing.

David Large

steamyrotter
11-03-05, 11:07 PM
Purchased a 4th hand cobra kit with no info, or specs and saying
"That shouldn't be too hard to do!!"
Nuff Said!

:D :rolleyes: :D

nbracken
12-03-05, 12:22 AM
Most stupid Cobra related thing I've done was "losing" the bolt that goes in the top of the Holley to attached the air filter during my build. Easily replaced of course, so I set off on my first decent drive when after about 100 miles the engine mysteriously stalled... tried to restart...failed...tried to retsart again the engine cranks and then stops with a bang.

AA recovery takes me home on the back of the flatbed (v embarrassing). That night discover spark plug end in cylinder #8 is broken so off comes the head ...then I found the mysterious missing bolt ..it had fallen into the inlet manifold where it had rolled around harmlesslessly for about 100 miles before passing through the inlet manifold into cylinder #8

COBRA KEV01
12-03-05, 01:47 AM
Two things really.

1. Was meeting MikeT on Paignton green about 4 or 5 years ago,my life has never been the same since!!!!!!

2. When i was 16 or 17 years old i had this girlfriend who i had not known long and after a date one night i took her back to my parents.
My father took quite a shine to her (possibly because she had a short skirt on and was very attractive),anyhow with it being a cold night i asked my father if he could take my girlfriend and i over to Torquay where my flat was.
Anyhow with one eye on her legs my father reluctantly agreed to taxi us back to my flat.It was a bitterly cold night and i will never forget the look on my father and girlfriends faces when i had discovered on arriving at our destination that i had left my keys at my parents house.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And later on that evening i discovered that i had lost 20 quid.....

DiggleBBC
12-03-05, 09:42 AM
Most stupid thing I've done, is car-related, but not Cobra.
There are two distinct phases to this, the first set the question in my mind for the really stupid thing I did later.

As an early teenager, I was on holiday with my parents and brother in Wales, when we spotted an injured seagul (sh1te hawk in the Navy) at the roadside. I was in the near-side rear seat, so I was nominated to get out of the car, go back and pick up the stricken bird. Dad stopped the car, I opened the door, put my foot on the ground, but then Dad let the (Hillman Avenger, four head-light version) car roll forwards another 18inches or so, just enough for my planted left foot to now have the near-side rear wheel come to rest on it. I told Dad to stop letting the car roll forwards, and to back up straight away. (Quite calmly, I thought, in the circumstances) Rather than doing so, Dad asked "Why?" I had to explain twice. Anyway, I got out and hobbled to the stricken bird, which we nursed back to health.

The next summer holiday saw us in a different car, and going on a canal holiday. I found myself standing by the dock as Dad backed the Escort (1.3L) towards the boat so that we could start loading. Something in the back of my mind enquired "I wonder if this car is heavier than the old Avenger was, and before the sanity check kicked in, I put my left foot out and let the new car's nearside rear wheel trundle over it. :o

A friend of mine, that I'll be working with again later this afternoon (I'm at CWC in Warrington at the moment) has some choice tales. He used to work in car dealerships, including one Land-Rover and one BMW dealership.

In the BMW dealership, he was trying to diagnose a fault with a small BMW saloon, by using a diagnostic computer to run and monitor the engine. He started the engine with the computer while leaning over the engine bay. The vibration and his weight dropped the car of the jack, and sadly, he had left the car in reverse, so it motored backwards through the workshop. Quickly he disconnected the computer, thinking that would stop the engine, but it didn't. The reversing car totalled the workshop wheel balancer and did considerable damage to the rear of the car.

At the Land Rover dealer, he was backing a Defender out of the showroom, looking over his shoulder to make sure he didn't hit anything. Sadly, on exiting the showroom, the front bumper of the Defender caught the very tall, very wide wooden framed showroom sliding door. The huge window detached from the bottom runner, and just came backwards from the showroom for a while with the car. Paul looked around just as the bumper released the door, which dutifully returned to the bottom rail, where the frame stopped. Sadly, the glass didn't. This huge pane of glass apparently carried on across the showroom floor, remaining upright, but getting shorter as it moved towards the back wall as more and more of the glass was left on the floor of the showroom. Apparently it was several days before the dealership principle would talk to Paul again.

Finally, another tale from Paul. He had been working in the garage and hadn't surfaced for a while. His wife wandered down into the garage, where she discoverd him passed out, with his feet planted on the garage floor, his jeans around his ankles, bottom up in the air making the high point of an equalateral triangle, the other low point of the triangle was made by a strange union of his head, and a bag of cement. I'll just pause for a little while to try and picture that, but then again, maybe I shouldn't. The scene was created earlier, when Paul needed to use the cement. He lifted the bag to an upright position, then opened his Stanley knife to open the top of the bag. He broke the rule of 'Always cut towards your chum, not your thumb' and outdid the usual consequences of breaking that rule. The knife went through the top of the paper bag much more readily than he had expected, and he planted the knife into his upper thigh, right through his jeans. Paul let go of the bag, and decided he had better inspect the damage to his thigh. He pulled out the knife, dropped his trousers, looked and passed out, landing with his head resting in the now open bag of cement.

Richard Gibbs
21-05-05, 07:25 AM
Not something I've done but seen.
My father was buying a new car at a Saab garage in Croydon. Sitting at the salesmans desk and going through all the paperwork there appeared a breakdown truck unloading a Saab that had a smashed up front. My father is watching the truck driver start reversing the car off its front wheel lift support. The guy gives it a little too much power and promptly reverses the car into the side of the building. Thus demolishing the rear of the car. Heven known what the owner of the car said!

cobradreamer
21-05-05, 09:09 AM
There are many times in my life that could probably go in this thread, but this one is probably the most stupid thing that I have ever done.

When I was studying engineering, I was always that annoying little git who told everybody else that they should be wearing there safety goggles whilst in the workshop.

This is a car building one, not a cobra one, but I’m sure I’ll soon have a cobra story to shear with you all.

About four years ago I was making my chassis for my lotus seven replica, I was using a jigsaw to cut some steel plate for the engine mounts.

I only had about 25mm left to go when the blade needed changing. So I took off my goggles, put them down somewhere, changed the blade, looked around for the goggles.

The goggles where no where to be seen. So I decided as I only had a little bit to go before I was pacing up for the day, it wouldn’t matter.

I started cutting the steel plate, the jigsaw kicked back, I felt a shape pain in my left eye.

When I got the the Nelson ward (I kid you not) at the west Norwich hospital, which was the eye specialist ward back then. They informed me that the splinter of steel had not only gone into my left eyeball. But had embedded itself below the surface, and the eyeball had closed up after it.

Now comes the stomach-churning bit. Do not read if you are eating or have a nervous disposition.

They needed to drill into my eyeball to get steel out before it started to rust.

I was in quite a bit of pain so I didn’t mind having an operation. But then they told me just what they where going to do.

As they needed e to move my eyeball in different directions during the operation, I had to only have a local anaesthetic, so I just couldn’t feel the area around the eye. Plus, I would be fully awake for the whole thing.

So I had to sit there, not moving at all, with my head clamped still, plus my eye lids clamped open, whilst the doctor used what looked like a drimmel to drill into my eyeball. This was probably the most unpleasant experience of my life.

So the moral of the story is, always wear safety goggles when doing something that could potentially harm your eyes.

I currently have over a dozen pairs of goggles about the place, so a pair is always at hand. My left also now is a bit short sighted after the experience.

Dom

JackNco
30-08-06, 02:12 AM
There are many times in my life that could probably go in this thread, but this one is probably the most stupid thing that I have ever done.

When I was studying engineering, I was always that annoying little git who told everybody else that they should be wearing there safety goggles whilst in the workshop.

This is a car building one, not a cobra one, but I’m sure I’ll soon have a cobra story to shear with you all.

About four years ago I was making my chassis for my lotus seven replica, I was using a jigsaw to cut some steel plate for the engine mounts.

I only had about 25mm left to go when the blade needed changing. So I took off my goggles, put them down somewhere, changed the blade, looked around for the goggles.

The goggles where no where to be seen. So I decided as I only had a little bit to go before I was pacing up for the day, it wouldn’t matter.

I started cutting the steel plate, the jigsaw kicked back, I felt a shape pain in my left eye.

When I got the the Nelson ward (I kid you not) at the west Norwich hospital, which was the eye specialist ward back then. They informed me that the splinter of steel had not only gone into my left eyeball. But had embedded itself below the surface, and the eyeball had closed up after it.

Now comes the stomach-churning bit. Do not read if you are eating or have a nervous disposition.

They needed to drill into my eyeball to get steel out before it started to rust.

I was in quite a bit of pain so I didn’t mind having an operation. But then they told me just what they where going to do.

As they needed e to move my eyeball in different directions during the operation, I had to only have a local anaesthetic, so I just couldn’t feel the area around the eye. Plus, I would be fully awake for the whole thing.

So I had to sit there, not moving at all, with my head clamped still, plus my eye lids clamped open, whilst the doctor used what looked like a drimmel to drill into my eyeball. This was probably the most unpleasant experience of my life.

So the moral of the story is, always wear safety goggles when doing something that could potentially harm your eyes.

I currently have over a dozen pairs of goggles about the place, so a pair is always at hand. My left also now is a bit short sighted after the experience.

Dom

MY GOD!!!!!!! now i dont even think ill be able 2 clip my toe nails without a welding mask. i have trouble putting contact lense in for gods sake. i knwo u warned us but come.....

John

shadow
13-02-07, 07:28 PM
My turn to join the club.

Yesterday I started to tackle the bonnet locks, Put the bonnet on hinges after fitting the locks to it with keys in so i can operate locks from inside.
Climbed into the engine bay and marked the slots in the bulkhead. Cut one side out, closed the bonnet above me, perfect. The lock arm swings in and out nicely.
Next side, did the same, closed bonnet swung lock arm in, but got jammed on a tight spot in the slot. Fingers too fat and cold to be able to release it.

Bugger.. I thought or words to that effect. Had 2 options, wait for Jen to get home and notice I'm not about after 3 hours of being indoors or try and squeeze out of the inner wing. (looked at the nose hole and laughed) I'm not that skinny.
Wheel arch it was then. , one side is clear and the other is blocked. A few heavy metal flight cases blocked the hole. Tried the side clear of all my work junk only to be met short by the wall couldn't quite bend enough without breaking something.... :?
So back I went under to try the other side. By this time cramp had set in as my body hasn't been in any position close to this for over 30 years.
In much pain i struggled to push the cases out of the way enough to squeeze out like a new born calf! Soo glad the garage doors were shut!!! :oops:

colinb
13-02-07, 10:05 PM
Well after these mega moments, i will address this to wilf because this happened in front of my wife,
Last saturday we decided to visit the Indian Buffet restaurant in Basildon, very simply i addressed the chip section and placed a portion on my plate, now? the tongs i used were sprung loaded to keep them open(silly) and when i placed the back into the pile of said frites i kept them closed and whooops the philosophy of expansion took over and every section of curry to icecream to the left and right of me had a portion of chips placed in it, now not only was the wife convulateing on the floor but have you ever heard an indian restaurant manager go tut-tut-tut-tut, sorry no pun intended, i retired to eat what i thought was a small portion of chips while everyone else thought they had tooo many.

Colinb

ianhunter
16-02-07, 03:29 PM
The most common thing I have done is to read the manual which says: "drill holes on passenger side something" and I do. Then I realise that my passenger side is their driver's side and I have unneccessary holes in the wrong place! Teach me to buy a car from the US!

My favourite memory from my early career as a service receptionist revolves around an old lady customer who had a Ford Anglia. One day, the car wouldn't start and we sent a breakdown truck round to tow it in. When she came to collect the car later, she asked what had been the cause and I said: "Nothing serious, the battery was flat." She replied: "Oh really, what shape is it supposed to be?" Still makes me laugh.

One day, she phoned to say that her car was making a terrible noise, so we went to fetch it again. At the end of her garage was a huge leather suitcase and every day for the last 15 years she had gently driven in to it to let her know the car was in the garage far enough for the garage door to shut behind the car. Each day therefore, the car got a little shorter until eventually, the radiator met the fan!

Ian

tinman
22-01-10, 05:01 AM
OK guys n girls - I'm posting this in the great British expectation that you will all 'fess up like me. Lets see if you do!!

The most stupid thing I've done was tonight - here's the scene:

It's Friday night, it's been a long and hard week at work. By tradition, Wife and I get outside of a couple of bottles of wine of a Friday night to help us relax into the weekend. We do so. At a late hour, Wife goes to bed, I wander into the garage and think "shouldn't I tidy up that bit of wiring?"

(Note here - couple of weeks ago I fitted an accusump to the car, spent all my time eliminating oil leaks from the many couplings, left the wiring to the solenoid a tad rough.)

And so I started - no problems, soldering iron and sleeving and cable ties all at hand. Whilst halfway through, my eye fell on the overpressure relief valve fitted to the accusump. Has a little ring on it, like a key ring. Looked at the pressure gauge - it says 75psi. Hmmmmmmm. Thought I'd give the pressure relief valve a little tug to see if it works.
BINGO - solid jet of oil all over me, n/s wing, engine bay, floor! Some of it went straight into my stupid mouth and eyes. Staggered into the house, to wash out the taste of valvoline racing oil (not pleasant compared to wine).
Looked in the mirror - horror! oil all over my T and shorts!

Here's the scene the next day:

1/ Wife says "how come there's oil all over your favourite "T" shirt and shorts??? Why do you always wear decent clothes when you work on that car?"
2/ Wife says "have you been polishing the gelcoat on that wing??"
3/ Wife says " why is there oil all over the kitchen floor?" (yes I had stood in a puddle of it and walked it into the house)
4/ Wife says " I thought you told me you had cured all those oil leaks - why's there oil all over the floor under the car?"

Boy - this has to be the most stupid thing I did so far, and let me tell you, I am no stranger to being stupid whilst building this car!!

Go'on then - beat that.

Wilf

he who never learns

Wilf, congratulations, so you have four wives, waaa you are some bloke and thus, I take back all the things I thought about you when I realized you were a member of the Sphincter Police and were the anointed one for gay bashing all those poor sods, including me, who drive or will drive an automatic cob. So tell me how do you handle four wives, or I did I not quite follow the way you wrote your comment? tinman,:cool::rolleyes::razz:

tinman
22-01-10, 05:16 AM
Wilf, congratulations, so you have four wives, waaa you are some bloke and thus, I take back all the things I thought about you when I realized you were a member of the Sphincter Police and were the anointed one for gay bashing all those poor sods, including me, who drive or will drive an automatic cob. So tell me how do you handle four wives, or I did I not quite follow the way you wrote your comment? tinman,:cool::rolleyes::razz:


Nuff said. tinman:oops:

chiffer
22-01-10, 10:06 AM
Is this the oldest thread on here? Started by Wilf in 2001.

parragonlee
22-01-10, 10:47 AM
The stupidest thing I ever did was propose, just kidding:-?.


I've done plenty of stupid things, but its the stupidest thing my wife says that I have have found funny.


When walking around Alnwick Gardens with my wife on our anniversary there was a sign saying 'no dogs except assistance dogs'.


My wife asked if there was a difference between a guide dog and a assistance dogs. I replied saying well assistance dogs would be guide dogs and dogs that help other people to. She said “like deaf people”.


I replied asking why would a deaf person need a dog she said “so it can bring them the phone when it is ringing”.

tinman
22-01-10, 12:16 PM
Is this the oldest thread on here? Started by Wilf in 2001.

Probably is and I did not notice the start date, I had just logged on and responded only to find out it was an early post by Wilf. So guess what the most stupid thing I ever did, yep, you got that one right. tinman:confused:

rocketmut
22-01-10, 12:18 PM
Arriving at Blackpool some years ago to see the illuminations we parked down by the pleasure beach. On alighting the car I asked my 1st wife if she would like to get the tram up to the north pier and walk back or vice versa.
She replied with " well which way are the light bulbs facing".:confused:

Most stupid thing I've done is to stab a hole in a coffee jar lid with a very sharp 1/4 in chesil whilst holding the lid in my right palm.:rolleyes:

Toddy
22-01-10, 03:27 PM
Many years ago went into our local pub which had just been renovated , wooden panels on the walls and the radiators painted wood effect to hide them , wife says " isnt it good that they can get wooden radiators to match"

Murray
22-01-10, 09:50 PM
Usher Sparks, who ever you are, I am crying here, just got onto this post, your tales are SUPERB! reading this out to the missis, I am literally crying with laughter, bloody well done, and wonderfully written. Thank you for cheering me up and I have absolutely nothing I could write to compare with your problems. Hope you get better soon!!
So what if this post is old? I bloody love it!!

Warren
22-01-10, 10:26 PM
Old post made me laff but re-reading I had to add something.

Not the most stupid thing I've ever done but definately Cob related. The build manual for the AK doesn't mention much about clutch set up......or I didn't read it.

First few miles not a problem, get a bit more confident, ummm fine. Now we gunna burn some rubber, pulling of roundabout down slip road and showing a clean pair of heels to whatever it was I shoot out onto the motorway changing gear as fast as I can, yeeeee haaaarrrr, fifth gear, no, nope, wtf, no drive. Casually coast to shoulder and pull into parking area as if I planned to anyway.

Turns out I hadn't adjusted master pushrod correctly so the piston isn't returning fully at the slave, slave piston finally fully pushed out and cockled/not able to return. Tried to get minimal adjustment on pushrod, nope.....I know, I'll just unbolt the slave assembly and push the piston back in and I'm sorted...on the final turn of the thread the salve was promptly launched by the clutch straight through the oil filter under extreme pressure...Exxon Valdez has nowt on me

And I ain't fessing up to any more...maybe

Warren

Robin427
04-02-10, 05:57 PM
Not something I've done, but noticed these on eBay:

Page Not Responding (http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Cobra-kit-car-lock-set-and-boot-hinge-SVA-(IVA%3F)-OK.-AC_W0QQitemZ250537093414QQcmdZViewItemQQimsxq20091 126?IMSfp=TL091126195001r33196)

Aren't they the same as https://www.europaspares.com/COBRA_SPARES/BRIGHTWORK/COBRA_BOOT___BONNET_LOCK_SET___C3LS__2421.html only £33 more!?!

Purple AK
04-02-10, 07:42 PM
Not something I've done, but noticed these on eBay:

Page Not Responding (http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Cobra-kit-car-lock-set-and-boot-hinge-SVA-(IVA%3F)-OK.-AC_W0QQitemZ250537093414QQcmdZViewItemQQimsxq20091 126?IMSfp=TL091126195001r33196)

Aren't they the same as https://www.europaspares.com/COBRA_SPARES/BRIGHTWORK/COBRA_BOOT___BONNET_LOCK_SET___C3LS__2421.html only £33 more!?!
Nope. The Europa ones don't come with cams, boot hinges, IVA buttons and carriage inc.
S&J however do ;)

Geoff's Project
04-02-10, 07:54 PM
When walking around Alnwick Gardens with my wife on our anniversary there was a sign saying 'no dogs except assistance dogs'.


My wife asked if there was a difference between a guide dog and a assistance dogs. I replied saying well assistance dogs would be guide dogs and dogs that help other people to. She said “like deaf people”.


I replied asking why would a deaf person need a dog she said “so it can bring them the phone when it is ringing”.

Not so stupid actually ;-):lol:

Hearing Dogs for Deaf People (http://www.hearingdogs.org.uk/)