View Full Version : The Darwin Awards..................

15-07-03, 03:19 PM
The Darwin Awards honor those who improve our gene pool... by removing themselves from it. These men and women gave their "all" in an effort to improve the human species. Of necessity, the honor is generally bestowed posthumously

Auto Blotto
1994 Darwin Award Nominee
Unconfirmed by Darwin
If only he'd asked... (7 September 1990, Sydney, Australia) Men seem to have an affinity for large trucks. What else can explain the actions of a 34-year-old thief who decided to take possession of the engine of an old Bedford tip-truck? The truck was parked outside a glass recycling company in Alexandria. It generally takes three men to lift an engine block of this size, but our enterprising pilferer decided that the best way to remove the engine was from below, rather than the conventional out-the-top-with-a-crane technique. He crawled under the cab and began to loosen the bolts. Suddenly the engine block broke loose and landed on his face, killing him instantly. Police ascertained that he had at least one accomplice, judging by the pool of vomit found under a nearby bush. An employee discovered his body early the next morning. The manager said that the truck was about to be scrapped. "If he had come and asked me for it, I would have given it to him."
Cock Fight

(12 January 2003, Philippines) Cockfighting is a popular gambling sport in the Philippines. Roosters are aggressive creatures that fight one another in the wild to establish a "pecking order." When their natural arsenals of claws and beaks are supplemented with sharp steel spurs, these feathered animals are transformed into deadly weapons. A trained rooster is an extremely vicious creature. Usually the fury of an enraged rooster is directed against another rooster in an arena surrounded by avid spectators. But at a recent match in Zamboanga, a cock owner was the target of his own bird. He had just strapped razor-sharp gaffs onto its legs when he lost control of the animal. The bird turned on him, and in "one rapid shuffle," its gaffs sliced through major arteries in his thigh and groin. Despite routinely handling razor-wielding roosters, the man was not wearing protective clothing. He bled to death en route to the hospital. Sizzling Scaffolding 1994 Darwin Award Nominee Unconfirmed by Darwin (1982, Texas) At the Amarillo Fairgrounds, some buildings were in need of a coat of paint, so local contractors were hired to do the job. Between the buildings was an angled alley with a culvert in the middle, designed to drain rainwater away from the buildings. Because of the slope, the wheeled painter scaffolding tended to roll downhill, so the painters removed the wheels on the scaffolding. They were in the process of moving the scaffolding next to a building, when the metal structure met a transformer. The painters were killed. The story made the headlines. The town was abuzz with talk of the tragedy, how it had come to pass, and whether the city was liable for damages. The city officials decided they needed to conduct an investigation. With much fanfare, they arrived at the scene of the incident, prepared to personally recreate the circumstances. Two officials grabbed the scaffolding in the exact same location as the two painters, began to move the scaffolding... and were promptly electrocuted

Shooting Blanks
2003 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin
(11 March 2003, Spain) Early one morning, police received a call warning that three robbers had invaded the bar of a Madrid brothel. The police dispatched several units, and confirmed that the call was true. Officers surrounded the building, and used a bullhorn to coax the offenders from the premises. The robbers, understandably frightened, found themselves in an untenable situation inside a building surrounded by dozens of policemen. Their subsequent actions may have been influenced by the ready availability of alcohol. Instead of surrendering, they decided to go out in a blaze of glory, and tried to escape while shooting at everything in sight. The policemen ducked, covered, and proceeded to shoot back at the running robbers. Two were fatally injured, and the third was wounded in his right leg. Why was the gunfight over so quickly? The three robbers were carrying REAL guns loaded with FAKE ammunition. They were firing blanks, making enough sound and light to fool the police into shooting back, but not enough to actually help them escape.