View Full Version : Police, please note. . .

11-11-04, 08:03 PM
Apparently this is from the Mazda RX8 :rolleyes: owners' club Website. . .

"Was pulled over last night by a copper who'd followed me for a couple of miles and breathalysed. Bearing in mind I could barely stand it was no surprise to find I was massively over the limit. This was particularly disgraceful as I had the missus and kiddie with me in the car.

I was arrested and read my rights. It was all a very salutary experience, especially when the copper got shirty because I found the whole business side-splittingly funny.

His mate,whilst the arrest took place went and had a good look round the car,came back and started whispering to the other copper. They are whispering frantically at each other and neither of them look very pleased.

Copper turns to me and starts accusing me of wasting police time,he calls me a tw*t. I point out he's just sworn at a member of the public, in front of an 18 month old child and that I'll report him for conduct unbecoming.

Plod [Hello Paul…:thumb:] get back in their car and drive off,with the copper who'd had a look round my car laughing his head off.

And the moral of the story for the police is........................ .................................................. ..
Always check whether a car is left or right hand drive before breathalysing the guy in the right hand seat"


11-11-04, 08:40 PM
Sweet, especially if true. :)

12-11-04, 08:17 AM
No one ever said the police had brains, ( no offence to any cobra members ) or the ability to admit when they have made a mistake. If it is a true tale, then that makes it all the better.
Kevin and Helen

Grease Monkey
12-11-04, 08:32 AM
OK, heres one for you, and is true because it happened to me.

My mate and I were off to visit his brother at Warwick Uni for a end of term fancy dress type, get drunk type thing in the 'airport lounge' (for those of you who know the place)

We decided the blues brothers would be easy, so we're dressed up in black suits, black ties, pork pie hats, shades, white shirts etc, biro on the knuckes saying 'Jake and Elwood'

We're driving through Stratford on Avon in my Spitfire, roof down with the tunes up full and Jon, my partner in crime, is strumming a rounders bat that i happened to have in the footwell (dont ask!) like a demented member of the Quo.

Next thing we know a red astra with two burly blokes in it is up our arse flashing his lights, swerving around us and waving their fists. Well what would you do ? I put my foot down and, while they fell back somewhat, thay continued to make ridiculous overtaking manouvres to keep up with me. (I'd only just got past the truck and these idiots followed)

Anyhow after several points touching a ton or so, eventually we came over the rise on a dual carriageway to find both lanes solid traffic. I jam on the anchors and this astra pulls up next to us and a very red faced man jumps out and starts waving a warrant card.

He directs us to the side of the road, sit us in the back of the 'police car' and reads us the riot act. Namely:

Not wearing a seatbelt - ok, guilty
Speeding ?!!
Reckless driving ? ME?!
Weilding an offensive weapon in public (the original reason to stop us) !!!!!
Failing to stop. Eh?

The list went on and on. And to cap it all while they were bollocking us, another car came over the brow of the hill, saw the traffic, locked up all four wheels and left 60 feet of rubber on the road, and they did nothing.

Finally to add to the weirdness of it all thae ACTUALLY had our descriptions written down on their clipboard as 'two white males, black suits, black shades, black ties etc etc' straight out of the film..


They let me off with a bollcoking in the end, mainly i feel because they didnt have a leg to stand on being plain clothes coppers in an unmarked car.

12-11-04, 09:16 AM
I was coming off duty one morning in uniform, the police were pulling random cars over and doing all the emmission tests and brakes, and breath test, so in I go, in the back of my Rover is a large cuddly toy ( Dolly the sheep ) wearing a seat belt. So I finally get to blow into one of those things, but no, the copper believes that anyone who takes that much care must be a careful driver.
Not to mention a nurse coming home from work. The amount of drugs and booze we have access to is amazing. What do coppers use for brains, I have worked with more drunk and drugged nurses than I care to think about.

13-11-04, 08:21 AM
Drugged and drunk nurses? Yes i've been to a few of those parties too, ahh memories.....:-}