And Then there is number 4

[V8bassman]

An 80 year old lady was being interviewed by the local news station because she had just got married - for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered. "Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

The interview looked at her, quite astonished, and asked her why she had married four men with such diverse careers.


She smiled and explained "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!"

[Miket]

Man and wife in their 80's go and visit Jerusalem, unfortunately the wife dies while there. The man is given the option of either burying his wife there for £50 or having her flown home for £500.

After a little thought, the man tells the funeral director he rather have her sent home, the funeral director points out that it's quite a bit more expensive, but the man is adamant. After all, he says, "Some 2,000 years ago a man died and was buried here, 3 days later he got up again - I just can't take that risk"

[oglyoodoo]

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks.
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.
It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, 'Ask him where the 10 million bucks he embezzled from me is.'
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.
The bookkeeper signs back: 'I don't know what you are talking about.'
The attorney tells the Godfather: 'He says he doesn't know what you're talking about.'
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, 'Ask him again!'
The attorney signs to the bookkeeper 'He'll kill you if you don't tell him!'
The bookkeeper signs back:'OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!'
The Godfather asks the attorney: 'Well, what'd he say?'
The attorney replies: 'He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger.'