Saying the right thing

[simon]

Tom wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and ironed.

Tom looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table
"Darling, breakfast is on the cooker, I left early to go shopping. Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Tom asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, threw up in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, Tom asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"

Self-induced hangover - £100.00
Broken furniture - £200.00
Breakfast - £10.00
Saying the right thing - PRICELESS